Tim Stevens in "Pop Goes The Church" gives a few thoughts that parents and children/youth leaders need to read and discuss:
"So rather than prepare our children to engage, discern, and make good choices, we put our hands over their eyes and our fingers in their ears. However, through the internet and news media, the culture was still able to invade our homes. Unfortunately, our kids were ill prepared to deal with it" (page 32, paragraph 1).
Some questions...
1. How can we prepare our children for the culture they live in?
2. At what age do you let them begin to explore pop culture and discern for themselves?
3. How do you establish boundaries with children/teens of what is acceptable, and what is dangerous.
4. How do we make sure our kids don't live in a cultural shelter most of their lives, then step out one day and get slammed by inappropriate culture?
5. How do we safe-guard our children, give them ways to make good choices on their own, and not hide behind the "slippery-slope" argument for abstaining from all culture that could lead them into trouble all at the same time?
I know this is not calling for shallow comments (pretty deep stuff here), but let's see if their is any discussion out there on this...
I've added this post to Water Cooler Wednesday. Check it out here.
5 comments:
I am interested in reading Tim Steven's book Pop Goes the Church.
As a dad of two children, 11 and 15, someone who is a pastor and has a home group, also a youth worker someone who works with unchurched teens, I have embraced pop culture and have let my kids see the world as it is and not live sheltered lives unless it is something that will definately harm them.
My kids go with me and work in the youth center and walk with me in the streets of the hood as we work with gangs and unchurched kids telling them about Jesus.
My kids have their own computers and their own TVs in their rooms. They know what they can watch on TV and what sites they can see and not see on the internet.
I have instilled good moral values in my kids and they have a good daily relationship with God.
I have boundaries for them and they respect them and follow them and we are honest with each other.
Although I do not have children of my own, I am a therapist and work with many young adults. I think the primary thing parents can do is teach their children, from an early age, HOW to think. How to use their deductive reasoning, how to weigh pro's and con's and to have a sense of who they are so they have the intuition with themselves to say in any given situation, "this isn't me" or "this is me."
So many kids that pass through my office are given rules without content. They only work to the degree that the temptation is not that significant. When it is, rules without an understanding or relationship to the rule have a pretty quick fall out...much like our relationship with Christ, I suppose.
We have 3 kids. 1 married, 2 teens at home. We have traveled extensively with our kids on mission trips. They have had a chance to see the results of moral decay in society. We take every possible teaching opportunity we can to remind them of the importance of knowing not just what they believe, but why they believe it. We talk pretty openly as a family about moral situations and decisions that others have made. We use media to teach. We try to stay tech savvy and to be a part of their social-networking as much as they will allow (oldest son is 18). We are aware of the desperate need for strong mentors and models in their lives and have tried to provide that environment and ethos in our own homes/lives. For us it's been about keeping the conversation going at all times. About speaking truth into their lives whenever possible. About the give and take of trust and responsibility. We are right in the middle of it and it's definitely something to not become complacent about. But it would be easy to assume they've got it nailed down then be blindsided by a stupid decision on their part. We are also super-careful with friends - and the parents of friends - keeping a watchful and prayerful eye on them is a huge job.
Our teen boys have computers, but they are kept out in the loft. I don't check it all the time, but I do walk by and let them know I am around. I know my boys know what is unacceptable, but it's good to help them not even have that choice to make in private. If they choose to go somewhere unacceptable on the internet, that choice will be made in front of the family. We try to be very honest about topics as they come up, not using the "do as I say, not as I do" argument.
Wish there was a 'formula'. But there are ideas - we always watch others - other families - to pick up thoughts ....this is great ! But no one family has the answer for everyone.
We try to listen when they talk - even when adults are present. Try to give them as much respect as we give our friends. Even with young ones. They pick up duplicity real quick - -we try to be the same at home as we are in public.
Young ones require lots of discipline. As they get older, they require lots more grace. We pray for God to make up the slack in our parenting skills.
Interesting quote from Focus on the Family:
'As the first official voice of the school, the primary teacher is in a position to construct positive attitude foundations on which future educators can build. Conversely, she can fill her young pupils with contempt and disrespect. A child's teachers during the first six years will largely determine the nature of his attitude toward authority and the educational climate in junior and senior high school (and beyond).
We take who's influencing our children very seriously. Teachers have them for seven hours, five days a week, and then there's peer influence on top of that.
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